Last time in Guest_bloggers, Brett Fyfield served up a chunky-sized portion of his knowledge about all things hiragana, and what a treat that was. Like my favourite cherry pie, it oozed with flavour and aroma, and got a good number of us salivating over the intricacies of the Japanese language, and its roots. The only problem with such a brilliant opener to a new series however, was who in their right mind would want to take up the baton after such a prestigious post? Well, have no fear, my friends, for Yuko is here.

Yuko, a blogger in her own right over at An Ocean Away, seemed the perfect accompaniment. Her posts often take a direct, no nonsense approach, yet her writing style constantly cuddles your senses, illuminates your mind, and oftentimes gives you more than a little to think about. With that in mind, as she stood in the wings, waiting to go onto the C*R-h stage with her cracking post about Herbivorous Boys, I decided to ask her a few questions:

Walking onto stage to rapturous applause, she then decided to start her act with her own, special question:

There is a Japanese term I’ve seen often on the net in recent years -“Herbivorous Boys”. The term seems to pop up frequently on the media and it seems to be creating quite a controversy in Japan.

It’s been said that Maki Fukazawa, one of female business columnists in Japan, was the first person to use this term several years ago. She came up with this term to name a group of young men growing steadily in number, with specific traits. This group is made up of men who are not very eager to seek sex or love affairs, not hungry for money or climbing up the corporate ladder, and prefer a quiet, less competitive, more relaxed way of living. They are also more interested in fashion than getting buffed up. They say that about 60 percent of men in 20s and 30s in Japan fall into this category today.

This didn’t seem positive to me initially. Yet right now, I am seeing a possibility of hope in these boys, despite the weak image the term may project.

When I first heard of the term “Herbivorous Boys” of Japan, I thought to myself, “oh no… my suspicion is turning true… Japanese boys are losing their hope and ambition! “ This was due to my personal observation of the cultural conditioning for both men and women being not very positive. I was born in Japan and lived there until I was 17. I left for the US mainly because I wanted to live my life in a way that would be valuable to me as an individual, and I didn’t see it happening where I was.

Traditionally, in Japan, male children tend to be treated relatively better than female children at home, because they are the ones who would eventually bear the burden of carrying the family name, and responsibilities that come with it. It is a sort of a pay off, I feel. Once boys become men, or independent as members of the society, their lives become very controlled. Men who are to carry the family name are expected to marry to bear sons to continue the family line. Then these men become something similar to slaves, for the lack of a better word, to the society and whomever they work for, in a name of providing for the family. When these men get married, the marriage is less likely to be what they would like it to be, even if they had a chance to think about it at all. Because their way of life would be dictated largely by the standard of what the culture says a man’s life and his marriage should be.

A culture that dictates people’s way of life seldom seems to be a healthy one. Sometimes the level of confoundedness seems inhumane. That’s why it seemed very logical to me to assume, when I’d heard of the Herbivorous Boys, that it meant some men in Japan have had it and called it quits, or have become indifferent and meek. If boys who grew up watching their fathers have lost hope to search for fulfilled life, I wouldn’t be surprised. 

Yet as I learned what attitude these Herbivorous Boys seem to have, I realized the trend might not necessarily be a bad thing. When you really think about it, it may just be the beginning of a change they need in Japan, to break the old pattern of behavior by both men and women, and its long term effect in their society. The arrival of these less aggressive men just may be a catalyst to a better, healthier society.

Let me see if I can explain.

They say that these boys are very honest about what they want in life. They don’t worry about whether they are who society values. They don’t want to get married because they don’t have confidence or see the logic in supporting their family by themselves. They are honest about how they don’t actually know what marriage is supposed to be like, or what kind of father they would want to be.

I see this as a possible result of how the way their parents lived, how it didn’t make sense. These boys likely have developed their stance, as a result of the exposure to how their fathers were taught to behave. It is very possible that these fathers were unconvincing as a role model to these boys growing up. If there ever was an explanation presented as to why men and women of older generation had to live their lives the way they did, the explanation must have not been acceptable to these boys. It these speculations are true, it means that these grass-eating men of new generation are starting to open their eyes and think for themselves. Moreover, they are acting as they think.

I believe the Herbivorous Boys are what they are, because they are comfortable with setting their own value system. They don’t have to adhere to the traditional cultural values of how to be. I find this rather refreshing. I feel they have a different kind of strength, something foreign to previous generations of men.

The presence of these less aggressive men, who live by their individual set of rules may help balance out the lack of individuality and self reliance in Japanese society. The society where, so far, women don’t have it any easier than men, for they too have to become like slaves to the cultural expectation of being a perfect woman/wife.  Although there are some women who are trying to break out of the molds put upon them, there are barriers limiting their advancement in their efforts.  Well, the “Horbivorous Boys” may help eliminate those barriers.

The Herbivorous Boys’ way of life may allow young women of Japan to be largely exposed to an unconventional partnership with men. Through the exposure, women will have a chance to see value in men who are not aggressive and without tendency to lead women all the time. Some women may see that what they want is not a man with cavemen mentality who would take them by their hair and drag them around.

The Herbivorous Boys, along with those women who are willing to break out of their molds, may encourage the rest of men and women to carefully evaluate the cultural teachings and the impact it has on them. That would cause a shift in social consciousness that may counter the traditional stereotyping of men: that men are not men if they don’t aggressively hunt for women and sex, or higher position in a corporate world. That should also lead to changes in how society views women and her role.

The new breed of men and women may figure out what part of the cultural teachings to hold on to, and what part to shed. Doing so would eventually release some of the unhealthy pressure that is increasing in the society. And ultimately, through some fine tuning and growing pains, people may become accustomed to decide on their own, what life is really about, and how they would want to live it.

Psst: And if you want to be next on the C*R-h stage with your very own Guest_bloggers post, then give us a shout here. And remember, Yuko would love to hear your thoughts, so don’t forget to leave a comment below. Plus, go and visit her at home at An Ocean Away, I’m sure she’d love to invite you in for a coffee.